I don’t want to be capable!

Gobstopped by Grace

My lip wants to curl a bit as my nose tilts slightly into the air with a sniff.
Looting… Hmph!CapableBaltimore2
A sex change?! Hmph!!
CapableJennerThe headlines are ripe with things to “hmph!” over.

In fact, we can usually find some psychotic murderer, some dastardly evil-doer, some over-the-top celebrity – someone with different junk than ours – to “hmph!” over.

Here’s the problem.

It isn’t a skin thing.
It’s a sin thing.

It isn’t a sex thing.
It’s a sin thing.

It isn’t a socio-economic, psychotic, neurotic crime thing.
It’s a sin thing.

It isn’t a little white lie, a juicy piece of gossip, an innocent flirtation.
It’s a sin thing.

Whatever it looks like on the outside, baby, it all looks the same inside.

You, me, the mayor, the Pope and the guy who led the Rwandan genocide.

I do not like saying that.

I do not like thinking of myself with a look of hate on my face, shouting obscenities at a sweet high school girl on her way to school, just because her skin is a different color.CapableAP1957

But I am capable.

I do not like to think of myself throwing fire bombs through my neighbor’s store window because of years of discord.CapableFerguson2

But I am capable.

I do not like to think of myself swinging a machete through someone’s neck because a neighbor is a member of a different family or of a different religion.capableIsis

But I am capable.

I don’t want to imagine hammering a spike through my Savior’s hands.CapableJohn316

But I did.

There is no such thing as pretty sin.

Jeremiah 17:9 puts it like this: “The heart is deceitful above all things, and it is exceedingly perverse and corrupt and severely, mortally sick! Who can know it [perceive, understand, be acquainted with his own heart and mind]?” (AMP)

Mine is just as ugly as the next guy’s. It is so important for me to remember that. If I’m not as bad, then I don’t need as much of Jesus.

I want all the Jesus I can get.

He told us “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. 32 I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance.” Luke 5:31-32

I confessed my gratuitous sin to allow for God’s gratuitous grace.

Sweet, sweet, wonderful amazing grace.

“Jesus paid it all,” the old hymn goes, “all to Him I owe. Sin had left a crimson stain. He washed it white as snow.”

He felt the pain of the sin that drove spikes into His hands and feet. All of that sin we sniff at on the news. All of those nasty things we did yesterday and will do in the future.

My big crud and my little crud gave Him pain that I cannot imagine.

And He offered forgiveness.

I chose to accept it.

Sweet, sweet amazing grace.

He does not look at me and hmph.

He looks at me with eyes of love and sees His righteousness.

I was capable

but oh, praise God, so was He!!

 

And you, being dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He has made alive together with Him, having forgiven you all trespasses, having wiped out the handwriting of requirements that was against us, which was contrary to us. And He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross.

Colossians 2:13-14

 

“For as by one man’s disobedience many were made sinners, so also by one Man’s obedience many will be made righteous. 20 Moreover the law entered that the offense might abound.

But where sin abounded,

grace abounded much more,”

Romans 5:19-20

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Angela

A recovered prodigal and expert breeder of dustbunnies, I'm a wife and a mother who just wants to live all-out, whole-heartedly, full-tilt boogie for Jesus. Living life with abandon combined with the daily regimens of life can be hard - that's where grace comes in. Oh, I love the balance of grace.
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Angela

A recovered prodigal and expert breeder of dustbunnies, I’m a wife and a mother who just wants to live all-out, whole-heartedly, full-tilt boogie for Jesus. Living life with abandon combined with the daily regimens of life can be hard – that’s where grace comes in. Oh, I love the balance of grace.

8 thoughts on “I don’t want to be capable!”

    1. I’ve been walking around rather, well, gobstopped this week – humbled by His love and grace, clinging to “grace abounded much more.” Absolutely beautiful!

  1. There but for the grace of God…Even Paul, probably the most Godly Christian ever to walk the earth, struggled with his sin nature to the extent that he had to “die daily.” Praise God for His indwelling Holy Spirit Who gives us the mind of Christ, if we yield to Him. Thanks for the convicting post! Linked up with you at Embracing His Will — hope you’ll stop by Saved by Grace for a visit!
    God bless,
    Laurie

    1. I am constantly amazed at the grace of God and I think the more aware of it we are, the more we want to throw ourselves at His feet, begging to be used.
      Thanks for the invitation to visit your site. I loved the story of your Baba!

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